Several events in the past few weeks have led me to contemplate what it means to trust. Trust who? Trust what? It’s very easy to say that we should ‘trust the process’ and that ‘everything happens for a reason’ because that feels impossible and those sentences seem so empty during tougher times. What I’m referring to here is having the ability to know what feels right in our heart and having the courage to let go of what doesn’t so that we can make space for what we are meant to be doing. I had fallen into battle between heart and head for many weeks about one of the events mentioned above, a class I had been teaching for some time that was no longer feeling right. There were so many reasons why I wanted to continue but more reasons why I knew I shouldn’t. I have a habit of sticking with things to ensure I’ve ‘given them my best shot’ for far longer than I really need to because I fall into the old trap of feeling that it’s my fault that something isn’t working and there must be more I can do to turn it around. I even knew I was doing this, I was witnessing my own battle and still couldn’t stop it! Another pattern of mine also appeared, which is to over-talk the situation as well over-think it, so my poor fiancé had to have the same conversation with me repeatedly! The bottom line was that I was clinging to something that wasn’t working, I needed to not only get out of my own way but also remove myself from the situation so that the person who was right for the job could step into it.
As helpful as it can be to talk things through with others sometimes it just isn’t necessary, particularly when you feel like a broken record because I was having the same conversation with myself in my journal as the one I was having aloud with my fiancé. It was all starting to get a bit boring!
When you think about it the concept of trust is only complicated by us, when we allow ourselves to be distracted by our own thoughts, patterns and habits, or the external world we can so easily fall into the doubt trap.
The message from my heart was quite clear, if you trust the natural unfolding of life there are an abundance of infinite possibilities awaiting. Within a week of walking away from what wasn’t working I had 2 offers of other work, both of which really excited me. A reassuring reminder that if we stay connected to our truth and act from that place we can’t go too far wrong.